About a week ago, I was walking around in a safe residential neighborhood at around 9 PM. It had just gotten dark and it was a delightful little walk. I was enjoying the nice weather, as I was listening to the music on my I-pod, dreaming away. The sidewalk was up against trees. While I was strolling, lost in the music, I saw a van park ahead of me, without thinking I kept myself on the pedestrian road, thereby passing between the bushes and the Van. I had noticed the driver getting out, but did not pay much attention as I was busy dreaming away with the tunes on my I-pod.
So as I passed through the little space between the Van and the bushes, I became out of sight when looked from the road.
We all pass like that all the time without thinking, right?
The driver, who had gotten out of the car, passed me by in this little space, trapped between the bushes and the van, invisible to the road. As soon as he passed me by, he grabbed me from behind, reaching his hand from in between my legs, grabbing my genitals.
I could not believe it!!!
In that split second I turned around, and while screaming out a big “Aii” I pepper sprayed the hell out of him.
Yes! I had pepper spray in my hand, like I always do when walking around in less crowded places, even if they are supposedly safe.
Oddly how, the fact that I did not even have to reach for the spray, but was so prepared, scared the hell out of my attacker and he started running as fast as he could while checking to see if I was after him. He kept on checking to see if I was behind him on every third step, with a very frightened expression on his face. So we changed roles in one split second. There he was out to attack me, now he was running from me, which felt kind of funny even while it was happening. I was wearing cargo pants, and sneakers at the moment and I run on the treadmill everyday, so he could not possibly out run me if I were to chase him, which of course I did not!
I am not built very big, which is probably why he chose me as prey in the first place. It would have been difficult for me to get the guy to the authorities, as it was dark, and there were no people around. So I walked away, went home.
Anyhow, he seemed so terrified of me that I don’t think that he will attack anyone anytime soon.
Over the years I had been teased about having pepper spray in my purse, and this was a moment that I felt glad that I don’t care what others say, and follow my instinct.
I had moved toAmerica, to go to college when I was nineteen. Living on my own while on a different time zone than my parents, has made me cautious, in the sense that I would go everywhere all by myself, but always with a sense of awareness. Rape was almost common on campus, which is when I had developed the habit of hand carrying pepper spray, when it is dark and I am alone. Luckily nothing bad happened throughout my years in college.
I recall a documentary that I had watched as a student that explained that attackers do not like fighters as they prey on fear. They were advising not to demonstrate fear, if under attack. Come to think of it, this makes perfect sense; the guy who grabbed me is probably a loser, who only feels strong when he can scare helpless women. Strangely, I did not feel the least bit petrified of him. I was spraying the hell out of him, maddened how he dared touch me!
He knew that I was up for a fight, right away. Given that I am small in size, he sure did not see that coming. The way he kept running from me, was really a priceless moment.
At instants of crises, one recalls previous recommendations which is one of the reasons that I decided to share this experience. Having pepper spray handy, is not a bad idea, but most of all knowing that the attacker is a“nobody”, a sleazebag whose only strength might be inflicting fear, may help taking his strength away.
According to the Human Rights Watch organization, Domestic Violence has risen up to 42% inTurkey. Sadly I have no recommendation to offer to those who suffer at home. Women endure a great deal of brutality and it is getting worse and worse. Men, who are violent at home, are not much different outside the house. I have lived in America, travelled to India, Asia, Africa, Europe, as a woman living in Istanbul I cannot help but observe that male attitude towards women, is changing. Lack of respect for women, is getting more acceptable by the year, which is encouraging men to become more and more violent against women.
It can only get better if culturally there is more reaction against violent men, which is not the case as the so called ‘Mildly Islamist’ environment encourages, women to disappear from politics, from the work force and even the streets if possible!
Source:
http://www.hrw.org/en/news/2011/05/04/turkey-women-left-unprotected-violence
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