Memory Lane

She apologizes for sleeping with him right after I broke up with him. It does not really matter anymore; it was a long time ago. Did it hurt at the time? Hell yeah, he was the love of my life, she was my good girlfriend. I recall him telling me that he did not even find her really pretty but he was trying anything and everything to get over me. Some people have odd ways of justifying their actions. Who knows, maybe he was punishing me in his own way. I did not react. I was too numb to react. Although I had left him, I also was trying to get over him. I kept far, far away from his mates who thought I was gorgeous and told me I deserved better than him, on the contrary I warned him that those were not his real friends. Not only them, but I kept away from men in general. At least I never had to have a guilty conscious. Tonight she told me that he was in love with me even when with her. He only stood with her for two weeks, as he was still in love with me. She had to endure that yet she still seems to feel guilty. All of this happened ages ago and I could not care less. Why did we have to run into each other with her after so long? Who knows? I did not even recognize her until she reminded me who she was. Now that I remember, why do I genuinely feel love for her? Who knows? We had been good friends and I do not feel like fixating on that bad memory. I have been over him for a long, long time. The fact that he did such things helped me get over him although it caused tremendous agony at the time. I was a lady as ever, never crossed any boundaries that would cause him pain. All he had to endure was my absence. Looking back I am glad for my choices of the time. I guess it was easier to move on when there was no guilty feeling. He kept trying to patch things up for many years to come. I could not anymore, he had numbed me, with all the pain he caused. He had to live with the consequences of his actions, and I lived with mine. What she did was not very nice either. Tonight she told me that we were the most wonderful couple that she had ever seen. It shook her fate in love when we broke up. Who knows, maybe at the time she hoped that he would look in her eyes the way he looked into mine. Maybe that is why I forgive her so easily. Thank God I have always been the one to receive the gaze filled with love. Many judged me for not acting out, not being vengeful at the time. It was not because I was naïve, but because I was strong. Oddly how, after this many years when I had forgotten all about these events of the past I get the confirmation, that my ways were right. Acting with love no matter how bad things get, is a better way in the long run although it might not seem so at the time.


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