My Heart Sees You

i-phone-6-plus-596At the end of the summer I took a long needed trip to India. It was the beginning of my “eat, pray, love” days, was my joke when I landed at the Delhi airport. It was 4 am when I landed and the car that was supposed to pick me up was not there. It was dark yet, I smoked a cigarette in front of the airport and took a cab, which I was later told was dangerous.  The cab drove me to Noida where I reached the Sahaja Yoga Health and Research facility.

i-phone-6-plus-621As soon as I arrived, I felt like I had arrived to heaven on earth. I could feel my Guru Shri Mataji’s vibrations on the premises although She has passed away a few years ago. Her immaculate taste and refine touch was visible everywhere along with the feeling of Her love.

Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

It was the break of dawn and there I was sitting with some old Indian ladies who did not speak English but just gave me some chai. Looking at the garden while sipping my tea, I just knew I was going to be ok.


The point of my trip was to be cured. For past three years I had non-life threatening but disturbing health issues one after the other. I just could not lead a regular life. I could not leave the house without having my pills with me in case something happens. My condition was causing extreme bloating whereby I could not breathe. Not knowing where and when it will find me was also very disturbing as it was happening while I am driving or having a meeting.

So although I appeared normal from afar, I had limited my outings to necessities. That was no fun!

I tried to work out of course but the quality of my work-outs were very poor with my breathing problems.

As soon as I stepped onto the premises in Noida, I knew all that was going to be my past. The doctors worked on me from the first day on. In the afternoon, although I was sleep deprived from the night flight, I went out to get a local sim-card. Meanwhile being away from the Health Center, I decided to feed my habit of smoking. In Istanbul you can lit a cigarette on the street, although traditionally a female smoking on the street is not considered very lady like, it has become more normal over the years.

However when I was on the streets of India and not one person smoking, no coffee shop to sit, ‘me holding a cigarette in my hand’ brought my Turkish upbringing conditionings into place and I just threw it away, for I could not appear like a trashy person with no proper manners.

That was my last cigarette so far. It was such an easy way to quit. The vibrations of the Sahaja Yoga Health facility were so strong and over powering that they cut off my demons, thus my addiction.

By the time my stay was finished the doctors had worked on me for many days and I was cured. I was hardly bloating and more importantly I did not have to worry about having shortness of breath while travelling from one spot to the other.


They had worked on many of my chakras but the one blocked and causing the shortness of breath was my heart chakra.


Something I make a habit of ignoring…

As my stay in Noida was completed, I went to Delhi and from there to Dharamsala, the Himalayas. When I arrived I realized that it was like a cartoon fairy tale. I was literally walking among the clouds. My dear Uncle Yogi Mahajan who had taken me to Dharamsala suggested that I burn my heart catch in havans, which is a treatement to burn away negativity.


So I did, and with each Havan the weight on my heart lifted some more…

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Vibrations were amazing, a sweet Indian Yogini told me that she could feel so much love pouring out from me, towards her. It was true. The humane kind of love, I have always felt, even for people that I don’t know so well. So in this sense a completely open heart can be misguiding.

There is no vulnerability involved. I can go out of my way to help friends or even strangers, since I would be doing it with no expectations in return, it is easy. It’s just a humane kind of love.

However entrusting a man with my heart…trickier! Of course when you love someone, you love someone, it just happens, that part we cannot stop from happening but the mistrust can mess things up.

Anyhow, upon my return from this incredible trip, not only do I feel cured health-wise but my heart chakra feels so much better in general. Also I feel joy the way a yogini is supposed to feel it, in other words all the time. This transformation feels miraculous. Moreover the physical strength and ability to run or swim the way I used to is so elevating.

Even the ladies in my Sahaja Yoga Class can feel the difference, our group meditations are more powerful than ever. So my ability to spread humane love has increased even more. I don’t know if the joke of “eat, pray and love” will become a reality as in loving a man anytime soon but I can sense my heart regaining the ability to see …..maybe even see what was sitting right in front of me. How that will affect my life is yet to be seen but it appears that I burned my baggage away during the Havans in India and that is incredibly joy giving…

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