India Sweet India

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve returned from the Himalayas but I still have not had the chance to write about it. It was an exhilarating experience and as soon as I got back I’ve become very busy.

This time around my trip felt even better than the last time. During my previous trip I was trying to recover from an illness. However this time I was already feeling well when I got there and every moment left me feel like I was in heaven. Literally!

What made it special is not only the amazing view but the vibrations.

The vibrations were so strong and pleasant that every moment was serene and filled with joy and inner peace.

Looking back, every moment of my trip was so delightful that just thinking about it gives me joy. This time I flew to Dubai, then to Delhi from Delhi to Amritsar and from Amritsar we drove up to Dharamsala with other yogis who joined from America.

As soon as I landed in Delhi, joy took me over. They had lost my luggage which I suspected that they would when they could not give me my boarding passes for the continuation of the trip in Istanbul.

Anyway, I was too delighted to make a fuss over it and like a true yogini should, I was able to detach from the situation or let it upset me in anyway.

As I arrived to Amritsar, I enjoyed the five hour drive to Dharamsala immensely.

The pleasure derived mostly from being there in the company of other yogis.

Towards the evening we arrived to Grace Heritage Hotel in Dharamsala.  The calm state of the Himalayas combined with the refine decoration of the Hotel has a soothing effect.

I was very delighted to see Yogiji Uncle. When I told him that the airline has lost my suitcase, he immediately gave me a nice shawl to keep warm and some beautiful Indian outfits.

The next day I went shopping for some more items that I may need and the problem was completely fixed as though I never lost the suitcase.

In my lost suitcase there were presents and Tulip Pulps which I had brought from Turkey, for the Dharamsala Ashram so the whole time I was hoping that they would keep. Oddly I had placed an icepack with the Tulip Pulps when I was leaving Istanbul. I don’t know if that helped but they were fine when they arrived.

So surrendering when there is a troublesome situation, the way a yogini should, did make the problem go away.

In general this trip felt much stronger in effect, compared to my previous recent trip to India. That time I was barely recovering from sickness and the healing effects were amazing. This time, I was already fine when I arrived so I could feel the depth being bestowed upon me.

One of the main goals of my spiritual journey is heightened awareness. It happened so spontaneously this time that it was almost surprising to discover the change.

My awareness level and sensitivity towards various vibrations have increased just like that. Along with it worry has disappeared and inner peace has arrived on a whole new level. Feeling very calm on the inside is very pleasant. A spiritual journey involves a lot of introspection and facing oneself before one can clear out the chakras. This time it was less difficult more joyful.

Hiking in the Himalayas, meditating, listening to music, having good food, many many chais, wonderful company, waking up to an amazing view….I just kept absorbing all the wonderful vibrations while greatly appreciating every moment.

After 14 days in the ashram, I went to Heritage Grace Hotel again to spend my last day and night there before leaving the Himalayas. It was yet again such a delight to be there.

On Sunday morning I left the Hotel at 6 in the morning as a car took me to Amritsar. When I arrived there I visited the Golden Temple before I took my flight.

Although it was beautiful, it was so hot that I literally felt that I was melting away in the heat. It was around 10:30 in the morning yet already very hot. I was chatting with my friends via my whatsapp group and one of them placed a photo of a nice cappuccino. Oh how much I missed a good cup of cappuccino. I told him that as soon as I arrived in Istanbul, I would enjoy one. A short while later I left the temple and went towards the place where I would meet the driver and right next to it was a coffee shop with great air condition and strong cappuccinos. So I did not have to wait for Istanbul, my small yet pure desire was fulfilled immediately.

It is when we are deeply connected that anything that crosses our heart manifests in front of us effortlessly. I had missed that privilege over the past few years. The realization that it is back along with my awareness levels being heightened is very pleasing.

After having my coffee I went to the airport and took my flight to Delhi. It was incredibly hot, 43 degrees hot to be precise. I was back to melting in my dress. The driver whom I knew from my last trip and had arranged ahead of time came to pick me up at the airport and took me to Nirmal Dham which is not only a Sahaja Yoga Center close to the Delhi Airport but also where my Guru Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi had been buried to rest in peace.

As I was visiting her tomb, I realized that I got to visit Her on Mother’s Day. I had not planned for it on purpose; it just turned out to be so. After paying my respects, I had yet another amazing meditation. Vibrations were so strong that I could hardly bring myself to break away and leave.

I did leave eventually and through a lot of traffic, the Driver took me to Yogiji Uncle’s wife, Deepa Auntie’s house. I was so happy to see her again. After nice dinner and a delightful chat I collapsed into sleep as I had had only a few hours of sleep for the past two days.  At three in the morning I got up and left for the airport.

My flight back to Istanbul was direct so it was rather swift. When I arrived home I felt the strength of the accumulated vibrations with me.

Since it has been a few weeks now, I found myself diving back into my life and taking a sudden step back. One of the main occasions that take place after strong spiritual experiences is; things getting exposed around me or an increased ability to see things which I could not before.

So soon upon arrival, I found myself getting lost in mediocre ways of the world, trying to fit in with people that I have very little in common with.  Then I questioned why I would even find myself in that situation. I realized that there is something convenient about the mediocre ways of life.

It allows one to kill time in the most inefficient way. This at the same time is very suitable when one does not have any hobbies and a lot of free time or a very ordinary life revolving around daily family worries. In both situations it is harmless fun. However in my case I find that it keeps me from doing things that I used to do to fill my free time. I used to write more and read more. Now I find myself getting lost in meaningless, yet fun chats for hours and hours.

After each trip that I have taken so far for spiritual purposes some major or small changes in my life have taken place. I recall one year after I had first become a Sahaja Yogini in 1999,  the person that I had known until then to be my best friend with whom we grew up together turned out not to be a true friend and I took it a bit hard at the time. I removed her from my life which was a wise decision. However yoginis forgive, so decades later I forgave her. I find myself in a similar situation one more time, this time I cannot say that I am taking it hard.

It is more like a good reminder to stop wasting my time with meaningless chats. The spirit gets exhausted during these so called meaningless chats, thus to maintain the pureness of the spirit, using free time; for good walks with the dogs or art projects, reading, writing, listening to music, meditating, working out, anyone of the things that I already do are better for my spirit.

I can still enjoy deep spiritual or intellectual chats with those who enjoy them as much as I do and those are the people with whom I have more in common thus fitting in does not become an issue.

So a little time spent in heaven, a whole lot more awareness, a little bit of change in the smaller choices of life, a lot of inner peace and joy, feeling calmer and worry free, having a small desire and seeing it be fulfilled right away are the results of my latest trip to India, Sweet India!

My Heart Sees You

At the end of the summer I took a long needed trip to India. It was the beginning of my “eat, pray, love” days, was my joke when I landed at the Delhi airport. It was 4 am when I landed and the car that was supposed to pick me up was not there. It was dark yet, I smoked a cigarette in front of the airport and took a cab, which I was later told was dangerous.  The cab drove me to Noida where I reached the Sahaja Yoga Health and Research facility.

As soon as I arrived, I felt like I had arrived to heaven on earth. I could feel my Guru Shri Mataji’s vibrations on the premises although She has passed away a few years ago. Her immaculate taste and refine touch was visible everywhere along with the feeling of Her love.

Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

It was the break of dawn and there I was sitting with some old Indian ladies who did not speak English but just gave me some chai. Looking at the garden while sipping my tea, I just knew I was going to be ok.

The point of my trip was to be cured. For past three years I had non-life threatening but disturbing health issues one after the other. I just could not lead a regular life. I could not leave the house without having my pills with me in case something happens. My condition was causing extreme bloating whereby I could not breathe. Not knowing where and when it will find me was also very disturbing as it was happening while I am driving or having a meeting.

So although I appeared normal from afar, I had limited my outings to necessities. That was no fun!

I tried to work out of course but the quality of my work-outs were very poor with my breathing problems.

As soon as I stepped onto the premises in Noida, I knew all that was going to be my past. The doctors worked on me from the first day on. In the afternoon, although I was sleep deprived from the night flight, I went out to get a local sim-card. Meanwhile being away from the Health Center, I decided to feed my habit of smoking. In Istanbul you can lit a cigarette on the street, although traditionally a female smoking on the street is not considered very lady like, it has become more normal over the years.

However when I was on the streets of India and not one person smoking, no coffee shop to sit, ‘me holding a cigarette in my hand’ brought my Turkish upbringing conditionings into place and I just threw it away, for I could not appear like a trashy person with no proper manners.

That was my last cigarette so far. It was such an easy way to quit. The vibrations of the Sahaja Yoga Health facility were so strong and over powering that they cut off my demons, thus my addiction.

By the time my stay was finished the doctors had worked on me for many days and I was cured. I was hardly bloating and more importantly I did not have to worry about having shortness of breath while travelling from one spot to the other.

They had worked on many of my chakras but the one blocked and causing the shortness of breath was my heart chakra.

Hmm…

Something I make a habit of ignoring…

As my stay in Noida was completed, I went to Delhi and from there to Dharamsala, the Himalayas. When I arrived I realized that it was like a cartoon fairy tale. I was literally walking among the clouds. My dear Uncle Yogi Mahajan who had taken me to Dharamsala suggested that I burn my heart catch in havans, which is a treatement to burn away negativity.

So I did, and with each Havan the weight on my heart lifted some more…

Vibrations were amazing, a sweet Indian Yogini told me that she could feel so much love pouring out from me, towards her. It was true. The humane kind of love, I have always felt, even for people that I don’t know so well. So in this sense a completely open heart can be misguiding.

There is no vulnerability involved. I can go out of my way to help friends or even strangers, since I would be doing it with no expectations in return, it is easy. It’s just a humane kind of love.

However entrusting a man with my heart…trickier! Of course when you love someone, you love someone, it just happens, that part we cannot stop from happening but the mistrust can mess things up.

Anyhow, upon my return from this incredible trip, not only do I feel cured health-wise but my heart chakra feels so much better in general. Also I feel joy the way a yogini is supposed to feel it, in other words all the time. This transformation feels miraculous. Moreover the physical strength and ability to run or swim the way I used to is so elevating.

Even the ladies in my Sahaja Yoga Class can feel the difference, our group meditations are more powerful than ever. So my ability to spread humane love has increased even more. I don’t know if the joke of “eat, pray and love” will become a reality as in loving a man anytime soon but I can sense my heart regaining the ability to see …..maybe even see what was sitting right in front of me. How that will affect my life is yet to be seen but it appears that I burned my baggage away during the Havans in India and that is incredibly joy giving…

Eat Pray and Love!

Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

I’ve just come out of the movie “Eat, Pray and Love” and I loved it. It reminded me of a different phase in my life. Years ago when I was in college I lived in an Ashram in San Francisco and had visited India on a trip to gather with other Sahaja Yogis from all over the world. India sweet India, every moment of it was magical. The slow pace, the warm climate, the soothing music, the wonderful silk saris, the perfumed jasmine in my hair, it was all bliss. My meditations felt amazing I was just having such a good time. I recall falling asleep during my initial meditations. I had arrived to the east from the west and needed some adjustment time before I could empty myself to absorb all the wonderful vibrations. Falling asleep was like God’s way of knocking me out so that I could emit all the love. Shortly after I was able to absorb totally awake with full awareness.

Such bliss!

 Of course when one takes a trip for their spiritual evolution, one becomes very observant of the Divine Play that keeps pulling us into a nonsensical state. The Indian call this state of illusion “Maya” It happens all the time and we can overcome it by becoming the whiteness. It is like looking for the glasses all over the house when they are on one’s forehead. The moment one stops getting frustrated and purifies the attention, the hand goes to the forehead to notice the glasses were there all along.

I have been a yogini for many years, yet I still find myself forgetting to be whiteness to my own drama every now and then. Luckily I recall that all one needs to do is surrender. Of course that is not the easiest thing to do when attached, but when it is time to detach things have a way of parting from us spontaneously, so the best is to enjoy the state and leave the conditionings aside.

The movie reminded me of a time that I used to dedicate most of my time to my spiritual growth. I used to pray so hard to become and instrument of God. I desired to be like Shri Krishna’s flute where God almighty could flow thru me, and I could be the instrument, a channel for Divine. What a strong desire. I did not remember to pray for other things, such as success, or money at the time. As we are all part and parcel of God, becoming more like God was my way to bliss.

When I desired to become more like God what I had in mind was not power or any such thing, but the impossible to challenge endless love that only Divine possesses was my idea of being like God. Not the sticky human kind of gushy love but rock like peace giving Divine type of love. During that period of my life I remember resenting to part from my conditionings and facing myself.

Still joy was always present.

Watching the movie I felt very blessed for not being lost and having found my direction at an earlier time in my life. Although choosing this path has made me feel lost in other areas of my life from time to time. When that happens I recall that being part of the system was not my way, or the path that I had desired. There is something draining about systems that I naturally rebel against. It must be my free spirit. As a student I was praying to be channel of God, to acquire Divine like qualities. Later in life as I was working for an advertising agency having regular meetings with high ranking people of the corporate world, I recall looking at some ladies who looked terribly dissatisfied and angry with life.

This time, I was praying “Dear God please do not let me become a Bitch! I cannot become an angry miserable person, who is harsh with people.”

 

Luckily I did not become that. It was just that at the time I was worried of losing focus of what really matters. Given that I felt that I had a strong presence and was certainly not one to push over easy, I was worried of pushing back too hard when challenged and becoming like those people that I dreaded so much, the miserable, bossy ladies. This would go against everything I believed in. I had learned the ways of love.

Pitfalls happen to me too. When trying to adjust with the ideas of the rest of the world, I find myself losing joy. This does not mean that I disagree with the world. It just means that I had learned where true joy is at young age and know well enough that it resides within us.

The knowledge that is encoded deeply inside me manifests at the oddest moments and reminds me who I am and what I know, for that I feel thankful to the Divine as ever.

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